Absence: The time during which one is away.

Well, it isn't difficult to imagine why I have been absent: I AM DROWNING IN EVERYTHING!!!!

I am doing a lot and feeling overwhelmed.

I am not sleeping very well. This is because my brain is GOING. Yoga is helping. Thank you YOGA.

I am in sinc with my studies, though and refining my method of study, as well.

I am toying with going to school for the rest of my life. That is how much I LOVE IT.

Tomorrow I go to London on business so Mart and I are in our nice, warm bed watching films. The pigeons in the Tower Condominium next door are cooing and Lucca is waking up, slowly.

Happy Sunday everyone.

Birthday: the day on which a person, or dog, is born.

Happy Birthday, Martin. Three candles on the biscuit.

Monster: One who inspires horror or disgust.

I am reading an article on the psychology of how we learn. An example was given of baby monkies whose tendency is to cling to a surrogate 'mother' who is cloth covered over a surrogate 'mother' which is made from wire. At a certain point, the monkey bonds with the surrogate and this bond is so strong that when that 'mother' appears to reject, mistreat or display other forms of cruelty towards its offspring, the baby monkey still clings. The monster mother can do no wrong.
Hmmmm.
What does that say? Why, as adults, do we continue to embrace our family members if they are cruel. As adults, shouldn't we be able to understand the difference?
Is the realisation that we must reject cruelty even when it comes from our own people, our own tribe so abhorant to us? Because to reject our own leaves us truly alone in the world?
Can I tell you, I would rather be alone.
Just putting it out there.

Pink: Any of a group of colors reddish in hue, of medium to high lightness, and of low to moderate saturation.

photo from 'glamour puss' kitty wigs company

Blue: 1. The hue of that portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo.

photo from mtv.com

J'aime: I love... (in French)

j'aime la pluie
j'aime etre seul
j'aime lire
e dormir
j'aime mon chien
e ma maison

i love the rain
i love being alone
i love to read
and sleep
i love my dog
and my house

Enlightenment: The state of being enlightened.

I origninally wanted to title this entry with the definition for NAIVE, but after reading the unflattering Free Dictionary offering, decided to reconsider my current insights by choosing ENLIGHTENMENT instead! HA!!!!

NAIVE:
Lacking worldly experience and understanding, especially:
a. Simple and guileless; artless: a child with a naive charm.

b. Unsuspecting or credulous.

2. Showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgment.

3. One who is artless, credulous, or uncritical.

OUCH!

I wanted to dedicate this entry to my new sense of understanding which is evident to me now that I am in school again and how I cling to ideas and beliefs that have defined me over the past three decades.

I have not changed the core of those beliefs, but feel more day by day, the sandy ground upon which they have been built.

One of my students, a very well educated Swiss man, told me that as he watched the effects of globalisation and the current market trends, he could not help but think of the fall of the Roman Empire. He said, 'All great empires collapse. We are simply witnessing this one in the 21st Century!'

He was able to step back from his personal views to see the BIG picture. And that, my friends, is what I am doing now.

I feel,
Liberated: To set free, as from oppression, confinement, or foreign control.

The shifting of perception, however slight, and the effects of that shift, is what this experience is teaching me everyday. I would still be sitting in a little dark room had I not decided to go back to school.
Isn't this all ironic? Lost on me as a 19 year old girl, the fruits of study, added to the wealth of my life experience up to this point, have made me ripe for new ideas which challenge my idealogy and idealism. At the risk of showing my age, I say this: I am digging the sh*t out of this. Now I will take my California-bred colloquialisms and leave you.

Happy Saturday, all. me and Mart